


The Middleman

by TW Lewis (gardendoor)



Category: House M.D.
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-04
Updated: 2006-07-04
Packaged: 2017-10-28 22:02:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/312635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gardendoor/pseuds/TW%20Lewis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wilson coaches Cameron after that disastrous first date with House.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Middleman

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers: I don't own them, I'm just borrowing them. Nothing dirty, but if you don't like the idea of two men in love, stop here. This was one of eight drabble challenges posed to me; Annieb1955 asked for House/Wilson.

"If you're going to make it work this time, the first thing you need to do is stop taking whatever he throws at you. Victims are boring; you're not going to get anywhere with him by being nice." He saw her open her mouth to object and ploughed right through the point before she could say anything. "It has nothing to do with caring, you can care all you want, but for god's sake, don't let him see it or he'll think it's pity and rip you to pieces.

"Next, you can't just go to a fancy restaurant, unless you want to watch him squirm all night. You could distract him, take him to a strip joint, maybe." He blushed at the way that sounded. "Or not. Uh, you could stay home. Don't cook for him and don't order in; cooking is a puzzle but shopping is boring; the only time he gets to cook is in other people's houses."

She was starting to look pissed, but he had to walk her through this; House needed someone, damn it, and if she didn't know how to navigate Greg's emotional minefield, she was going to break his heart and Wilson was going to have to pick up the pieces again. "Music is good. Any band you've ever seen him wear a tee shirt for is a good bet. And horror movies; he's a sucker for Jamie Lee Curtis. Get some alcohol in him; it'll keep him from taking the Vicodin. And don't wait for him to start something, you're going to have to take the lead, but let him take over once things get going, and if you value your life, don't ask if the leg hurts or try to make him comfortable. He knows his limits and he likes being able to stand a little pain; the last thing you want is to make him feel like an invalid.

"He hates being kissed. He never knows what the other person expects of him: open mouth, closed mouth, holding them, feeling them up, eyes open or shut. Just go right past the mouth and aim for the cheek. Or the neck. Neck is good. And--"

"Doctor Wilson?" Cameron interrupts, her voice sounding tight and funny. She reaches into her pocket, pulls out a square foil packet and presses it into his hand, never dropping her gaze. "Maybe this would work better if you cut out the middleman."

End.


End file.
